Occasions by Emily

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A wedding should be bliss and happiness, but all too often it turns into tense family drama as people become unsure of their place in this important event.

Many of my clients are faced with their parents' difficult divorce and remarriage situations that can create two or three immediate families per side.  This requires caution, and more than a little finesse, in the seating process.  It can be helpful for couples to follow outside guidelines instead of trying to determine seating arrangements on their own.  I have described here the standard way wedding planners organize and seat families in such situations:

Front Row, Left Side:  Mother of the BRIDE (biological) has earned this chair by the simple fact of giving birth (trust me, it is not an easy accomplishment).  She should be seated last of the family members in the processional and just before the minister enters.  If she is remarried, her husband should escort her, or follow behind her and the usher who is escorting her.  If she has a serious date, it may be appropriate for him to have a chair beside her, but his actual seating should be done pre-ceremony.  If the Mother of the Bride's parents are in attendance, it is also nice to seat them with Mom on the front row to make it feel/look a little less lonely.

Front Row, Left Side:  Mother of the GROOM.  She will be seated before the Mother of the Bride in the processional.  All other Mother of the Bride guidelines also apply to the Mother of the Groom.

Second row, both sides:  This is for the Dads.  If they are remarried, they should walk the aisle as part of the processional with their new spouses, or the spouse should be escorted by an usher with dad following behind.  If they are seriously dating someone, that person should be seated pre-ceremony in a chair next to Dad's.  If a Dad's parents are in attendance, they may be seated on the same row.  Father of the Groom should be seated in the processional before the Mother of the Groom.  Father of the Bride normally walks the bride down the aisle and should be seated after doing this.

It is important to mention that there are many, many exceptions to everything I have just written.  Please do not hesitate to email me at emily@occasionsbyemily.com with your specific situation for guidance.  A little bit of etiquette can go a long way in calming nerves and soothing tempers on your wedding day.

Thanks Wedding Woman for sending me this question!

Emily