A wedding should be bliss and happiness, but all too often it turns
into tense family drama as people become unsure of their place in this
important event.
Many of my clients are faced with their parents' difficult
divorce and remarriage situations that can create two or three
immediate families
per side. This requires caution, and more than a little finesse, in the seating process. It can
be helpful for couples to follow outside
guidelines instead of trying to determine seating arrangements on their
own. I have described here the standard way wedding planners
organize and seat families in such situations:
Front Row, Left Side: Mother of the BRIDE (biological)
has earned this chair by the simple fact of giving birth (trust me, it
is not an easy accomplishment). She should be seated last of the family
members in the processional and just before the minister enters. If she
is remarried, her husband should escort her, or follow behind her and
the usher who is escorting her. If she has a serious date, it may be
appropriate for him to have a chair beside her, but his actual seating
should be done pre-ceremony. If the Mother of the Bride's parents are in
attendance, it is also nice to seat them with Mom on the front row to
make it feel/look a little less lonely.
Front Row, Left Side: Mother of the GROOM. She will be seated
before the Mother of the Bride in the processional. All other Mother of
the Bride guidelines also apply to the Mother of the Groom.
Second row, both sides: This is for the Dads. If they are
remarried, they should walk the aisle as part of the processional with
their new spouses, or the spouse should be escorted by an usher with dad
following behind. If they are seriously dating someone, that person
should be seated pre-ceremony in a chair next to Dad's. If a Dad's
parents are in attendance, they may be seated on the same row. Father
of the Groom should be seated in the processional before the Mother of
the Groom. Father of the Bride normally walks the bride down the aisle
and should be seated after doing this.
It is important to mention that there are many, many exceptions
to everything I have just written. Please do not hesitate to email me
at
emily@occasionsbyemily.com with your specific situation for
guidance. A little bit of etiquette can go a long way in calming nerves
and soothing tempers on your wedding day.
Thanks
Wedding Woman for sending me this question!
Emily
